Disciplinary Ramblings

It appears that the club managed to achieve the worst disciplinary record in the entire league for the 1982-83 season. I think that was the season where we had two players sent off in the one game. Cab was one after the referee claimed his penalty had missed when it had actually gone in but had escaped through an unsecured net. In the aftermath, there were allegations of Simon trying to kick the referee and threats of a lifetime ban, but he was back a few games later only to receive his marching orders once again.

The following season saw Charlie Coughlin sent off for violent conduct in a friendly against Berrylands. Quite apart from chasing the ref and several players around the pitch in a scene reminiscent of The Benny Hill Show, Charlie was actually playing under the name of 'Tim Wheeler' as he was banned for two months for, er, getting sent off.

The 1986–87 season was fairly forgettable with just two wins in all competitions and no records of any gross misdemeanours. However, it did end on a bright note with several of the Old Wimbledonians team confessing that they were apprehensive about playing in a friendly us as they thought we were 'a bit lairy'.

Suspensions were few and far between during the Junta era but this was mainly due to invariably supplying our own referees, Marc Kent or Matt Bowles. Kent was forced to send-off Mark Webster in the notorious clash with Starpoint in 1988 but he was too inept to report it to the League (that, or we bribed him) so Flaggy kept his place in the side. Steve Adams, one of the most underrated thugs in the club's history, did serve a ban the following season after chinning an opposition forward.

In one match a few years later, the hapless Kent even attempted to send off two spectators, namely David Preston and Phil Culshaw for calling him a 'useless cunt'. As neither was registered at the time there was fuck all he could do, so the pair continued to abuse him for the rest of the game.

And just to prove that we were capable of turning the other cheek, let us not forget a County Cup tie against The Rose of Denmark in Barnes in the early '90s. For the entire 90 minutes, we were victims of incessant verbal and physical abuse. Ian Stentiford was hacked down and then called a "cunting poof", while Sponge was attacked by the opposing right-back (after quite a long touchline discussion Nobby and El Supremo eventually decided to go to his aid). Despite all this we emerged worthy winners and held our heads high in the dressing room afterwards – a dressing room incidentally, which the ref was too scared to enter. Oh and that reminds me of a dressing room scuffle against Starpoint after Nobby branded them "fucking lairy cunts". Pot, kettle, black immediately springs to mind here.