To start us off, here is a pleasant little ditty that's proving popular with football fans up and down the country:
The dark side, wherever you may be,
don't leave your wife with John Terry,
it could be worse, he could be scouse,
he'd shag your wife, then he'd rob your house
Incidentally, did you hear that John Terry has lost the England Captain's armband?
Apparently Fabio Capello phoned up Wayne Bridge to ask him if he could look under his bed to see if he could find it.
Also, Ashley Cole has been banned from driving after doing 100 mph in a 50 mph zone, he says he was being chased by paparazzi, the real reason was he was running late and John Terry was round for tea.
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