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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Broomfield Awards: A Guide

As the campaign moves towards the midway point, it's time to start thinking about who is going to win what at the prestigious end-of-season club dinner. For those of you unfamiliar with the booty on offer, this what can be scooped by the lucky few:

Player of the YearAwarded to the club’s outstanding performer and voted for by all players. Please note that goalkeeper’s have twice scooped this prize in past years, despite one of them letting in 83 goals during the season and the other one being a dwarf.

Young Player of the YearAwarded to the club’s outstanding young player. Originally limited to anyone under the age of 21, the qualification is now under 18, so start preparing your speech Cameron.

Ted Webster Goalscorer Award – Named in honour of legendary former Broomfield centre-forward Ted Webster. Contrary to popular belief it is not awarded to the player who is the most alcohol and drug ravaged, slags off everyone and who fails to pass the ball to anyone except his brother – but rather to the man who scores most goals in a season.

Merit Award Awarded by the club committee to a player past or present who has made a valuable contribution towards the ‘success’ of the club. Similar to the BRITS Lifetime Achievement Award (apart from the achievement bit).

Sponge of the Year – Formerly known as the Pritchard of the Year, this is voted for by everyone and is awarded to the player who best sums-up the spirit of Broomfield. Qualities looked for include: drunkenness, sociablity, lairyness, disorganisation, swearing, general foul play, failing to buy drinks. Current leader: G. Owens.

Jon Lewis of the Year – Awarded to anyone called Jon Lewis.

Broomfield almost win game

Jon Lewis left the raid-sodden turf at Weston Green a happy man last Sunday, after some geezer's knackered ankle ligaments and a downpour of rain conspired to help him achieve his first clean sheet since he last bought a round.